I am a Mormon.
Or, as I prefer to think, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I firmly believe in a Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally, and that Jesus Christ suffered for our sins so that we could repent, as well as learn and grow from our mistakes. I also believe that there is a purpose in our trials, and that they are necessary part of life in order for us to reach our full potential as we make our way through this mortal probation. I’d like to share the story of the trial that has perhaps shaped who I am today more than any other experience.
In March of 2008, at the tender age of nineteen, I was called to serve a full-time two-year mission as a representative of Jesus Christ and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I received my assignment to serve in the Fukuoka, Japan mission, and could not wait to start teaching the Japanese people the Restored Gospel of Christ. I entered the Missionary Training Center (MTC) on June 4th, 2008. Though I was very nervous, I simultaneously tried to contain my excitement to start an adventure that I had been looking forward to for as long as I could remember. The first two weeks were a whirlwind of activity as I got to know my MTC companion, Elder Bodily (as a missionary, you are always with another missionary), oriented myself to the new surroundings, the 9 missionaries I took classes with, and the both the teachers and the classes themselves. I worked as hard as I knew how to, knowing that the more I learned in the MTC, the better prepared I would be when I arrived in Japan.
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Elder Bodily (right) and I in the MTC |
For the remaining two months in the MTC, I tried to hide my sickness from everyone, especially Elder Bodily, so that I could keep attending classes and not be a disruption. I felt like I was falling behind as it was, and didn’t need anything else to keep me missing the lessons. It became a more difficult task as time progressed. I kept throwing up, experienced constant bowel problems, and the pain in my stomach became so sharp so as to feel as if a knife had been unceremoniously plunged into my side.
At night, I would lay awake for hours before exhaustion finally overcame the pain, and I could drift into unconsciousness. Almost every morning, I would wake up well before Elder Bodily’s 6:30 alarm went off. I would stare at the ceiling and wonder how on earth I was going to function normally throughout the day, or even if I would make it through the day. At breakfast, I was reduced to eating a few cubes of melon or half a bagel. I felt every morning that if I ate, I would immediately throw up, but if I didn’t eat, the hunger would become unbearable. I started losing weight. My stomach usually allowed for a few more bites of lunch, and occasionally I was able to get all of dinner down.
On the 4th of July, one of my MTC buddies received a package from his mom containing giant cinnamon rolls for all 10 of us in the class. I remember that day clearly, as I felt like writhing in pain during morning classes due to abdominal torment, and that delicious cinnamon roll sat in my desk for two days before I felt I could force it down. On another occasion, I dragged Elder Bodily back to our room before breakfast so I could grab my medications, knowing I would not be able to keep breakfast down that day without them. I took the pills with a mouth-full of water, and two minutes later was vomiting in the bushes on the way to the dining hall.
For two straight months, I lived in that condition. I was physically exhausted by the end of the MTC, but spiritually enriched. I felt I had progressed as far as the confines of the MTC could take me. Now, only arriving in Japan would keep me learning the language and advancing as a missionary. I tried to keep that attitude as I threw up in the gutter at the Salt Lake airport before boarding. Luckily, on the flight to Los Angeles and from there to Tokyo, my stomach decided to take a break from irritating me.
At the international airport in Narita, however, and on the flight to Fukuoka, the pain returned with a vengeance. When I first met my Mission President, the caretaker of all the missionaries in the Fukuoka mission, I was sicker than a dead dog. The good first impression that I had hoped to give him didn’t even matter in lieu of trying to not pass out. I was once again sick at the mission home, and took care to ensure that no one knew. After a couple of days at the mission home, my fellow missionaries and I were assigned to our first areas. I was assigned to the city of Kumamoto along with Elder Bodily, although we were sent to different areas of the city.
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My trainer, Elder Heywood |
It was at this point I asked Elder Heywood for a Priesthood blessing. As in Biblical times, our Heavenly Father has once again given the power to man to act in his name, and use His power for the benefit of His children. Elder Heywood laid his hands on my head, and in the name of Jesus Christ, gave me a blessing to help my physical condition. It was the most calming feeling that began to course through me, and all I remember after the blessing was that I went straight to my futon, curled up, and for the first time in months, fell straight asleep. In retrospect, I now firmly believe that the blessing that Elder Heywood gave me kept me here on this earth. The man saved my life by worthily using his Priesthood on my behalf, and I will be eternally indebted to him.
The next morning, Elder Heywood and another senior missionary went to Fukuoka for a leadership training meeting, leaving me with a missionary that had been out for just six weeks. I woke up just as they headed out the door. All the shooting pains that plagued my stomach the night before had disappeared. The agony that had become a normal was almost gone. And the strangest sensation accompanied my lower right side. All that remained was a spot on my lower right side about the size of a quarter that, interestingly enough, felt cold. It was at that moment I finally realized that I was having an abnormal physical experience that would probably require medical attention.
After much hesitation, I timidly alerted my companion-for-the-day that something was wrong. He made a phone call to the mission president, and an hour or so later, an 18 year old Japanese kid with sunglasses and a most impressive fohawk showed up with a car. I was still thinking that we were going to go to a doctor, so I was nothing short of flabbergasted to find myself a short while later parked in the Emergency Entrance of a Red Cross hospital. I still thought that severe stress had caused this, not something that presented an immediate threat to my life. I tried not to panic upon finding myself in the ER. I was even more surprised when Elder Bodily and his trainer, Elder Hicks, arrived a few minutes later. I had never before been so glad to see a familiar face. After navigating a maze of Japanese paperwork, I found myself with nothing to do for over an hour before a doctor became available. That much time left to contemplate the "how on earth did I get myself in this mess" question left little to the imagination.
After a cordial greeting from the doctor, I was introduced for the first time to a hospital bed on wheels. Elder Hicks informed me that an ultrasound was in order. The doctor didn't say a word as he stared for fifteen minutes into the gray/white screen that provided a view into my internal organs. After what seemed like an eternity, he rolled up the camera cord and started babbling to Elder Hicks. Elder Hicks listened intently, and turned to me to pass along the message.
"They're going to need to take you in the back. The doctor is not quite sure whats going on, but they need to take another look."
At that moment, I realized that less than four days after arriving in Japan to begin my mission, I was going to be hospitalized. For the first time I could remember. In a foreign country. With minimal command of the language. And the only person I had known for more than two days was a nineteen year-old who knew as much Japanese as I did. Up to that point in my life, I cannot remember a time when I had felt so alone.
I asked if I could use the restroom, and shuffled over through the door. I stood in front of the mirror, and for the next five minutes just stared at my reflection. My thoughts flew in a thousand different directions at once, causing no shortage of wild speculation that accomplished absolutely nothing other than cause me to try fight the panic building inside of me. Eventually, I splashed some water on my face and shuffled back out to greet whatever the fates had in store for me.
Elder Hicks and I in the hospital |
I remember a few flashes from the remainder of that day. I remember another ultrasound, had some blood drawn, was given x-rays and woke up in the middle of a CAT scan. Later in the day, I was pulled off the bed to sit while a doctor explained what they thought was going on. I remember looking at a little drawing, and hearing that they were 99% sure that there were calcified stones in my *appendix. I had never heard of such a thing, and wondered briefly if the drugs I knew I was on simply messed with either my hearing or my thinking. I had never heard of appendix stones before, what on earth were these doctors thinking!?
The last thing I remember before going under the knife was once again emptying my stomach. They were wheeling me in towards surgery, Elder Hicks dutifully at my side, and I knew it was coming. I notified Elder Hicks, who hurriedly alerted the nurses. Despite the large amounts of drugs I had coursing through my system, the pain from my stomach as I once more threw up was unbelievable. It was hands-down the most intense pain I have ever suffered from. The only way I know how to describe it is equating it to a volcano erupting in my stomach. Mount St. Helens may be an appropriate comparison. It is something that I sincerely hope that I never have to experience again.
As soon as I settled back down, they continued prepping me for surgery. As doctors and nurses bustled around, I once more got Elder Hicks's attention. I did not know how this little dilemma was going to end, but I knew that busted appendixes were nothing if not potentially fatal. If this was going to be my last few moments, I wanted Elder Hicks to tell my parents something. The MTC gave me ample opportunity to recognize all the my parents had done for me. I asked him to tell my parents that I loved them. And, that I knew that the Gospel, which my parents had taught me from the time I was young, as well as my reason for coming to Japan, was true.
He assured me that he would pass that message along. He then said that they were going to start the surgery here soon, and that he would be right by me when I woke up. I looked up as a masked Japanese doctor stepped into view with a large amount of milky-white liquid in a syringe. Elder Hicks said that my arm might feel very warm as they put me out. He was correct. The warmth started spreading, and that was the last sensation I remember as my consciousness slipped into a blackened abyss.
*The appendix is thought to contain bacteria that is useful for digestion. When sickness flushes out those bacteria (via vomiting or diarrhea), the necessary bacterias are preserved. However, when the appendix becomes inflamed, or in my case, calcified stones wore two small holes in the appendix, it can cause severe stomach pains, lead to inflammation of the abdomen, and if not treated, to shock and death.
Part 1 and part 3 of the series can be found by clicking on the links.